Do I need to see a therapist?
Whether to overcome past trauma, bereavement or professional burnout, most of us know the areas of our lives we want to tackle. And yet, despite this knowledge, we often don’t act. Time passes. Unhappiness grows. Depression takes root. Destructive lifestyles bed in. Something is missing, which would start us on a journey from where we are now to where we want to be. And what is missing is the subject of this blog. In ‘Do I need to see a therapist?’, we look at six signs that explain why your personal and professional life is falling apart and why a therapist can be just what you need.
Consider the following scenarios…
Sign One
Midway through a conversation with a member of your existing support network, a partner, colleague, or boss, maybe, that you hope will make the difference you are after, it dawns on you that this hope is to remain unrealised. After the conversation has concluded, you walk away profoundly distressed and scared, appealing to the sky for a conversation that possesses the qualities and characteristics you need.
Sign one that you need to see a therapist.
Sign Two
Sitting in traffic or a meeting, you tot up the days you have felt anxious/depressed/angry* (*delete as appropriate). An exact number eludes you, but you know it is more than 30. Determined to understand why your emotional state is stubbornly difficult, you begin a journey in search of meaning – that leads to a dead end. Sitting on an imaginary park bench hoping for inspiration, your emotional state prevents any from getting through, and you draw a blank about why you feel the way you do.
Sign two that you need to see a therapist.
Sign Three
“You keep doing that,” asks a friend. “Doing what?” you ask. “Talking yourself down. You never say anything positive about yourself.” “Don’t I?” you reply.
Later, you reflect on your friend’s observation and whether other patterns (thought, behaviour, feeling or relating) in your home and work life suggest you are, however, unintentionally, engaged in a campaign of self-sabotage. In no time, you have a long list of examples that indicate you are.
Sign three that you need to see a therapist.
Sign Four
One day, on your regular morning walk, you are listening to your favourite wellbeing podcast when the host says something that triggers a profound reaction. They ask, “Do you completely accept yourself as someone with esteem and worth?” As you take in the significance of the podcaster’s question, a memory surfaces of a former colleague encouraging you to find the final piece of your jigsaw: valuing yourself. You become tearful, is another decade of your life to pass before you accept yourself as someone who matters?
Sign four that you need to see a therapist.
Sign Five
It is the New Year, and in the journal on your desk are your Resolutions from last year, each variously unfinished or untouched. Determined that you won’t be in this position next January, you reflect on the previous twelve months to the times when your Resolutions unravelled. ‘Why did they prove too challenging?’ you write in your journal. Why does challenge defeat you? As you reflect, a thought emerges: you had no support. When you needed someone alongside you, your support network was found wanting.
Sign five that you need to see a therapist.
Sign Six
Over a coffee with a friend, you listen as they talk about their personal and professional plans, their face beaming. Dynamically, they detail who will be involved, what the plans consist of, where they will be focused, when they will happen, why now is the right time, and how their various approaches will develop. Finally, they imagine their final destination when their plans have been achieved.
“That’s a great destination,” you comment, “and an amazing journey.”
“Yes!” they exclaim. “That’s it precisely.”
“I need that, too,” you reply.
“Then what’s stopping you?” says your friend.
“Me,” you respond, and then promptly burst into tears.
Sign six that you need to see a therapist.
What did you discover?
If you didn’t identify with any of the six scenarios, then it could be that you don’t need to see a therapist at this time. However, if you did connect with one or more of our examples and recognise that things can’t remain as they are in your life, then consider therapy could be for you . Start from the perspective of being selfish in a good way. Prioritise your personal or professional circumstances. Ask yourself, ‘What is good for me? How can I best serve myself?’
What should you do next?
If you can relate to the events and issues raised in this article, and you are perhaps feeling a bit stuck, then it’s probably the case that you might benefit from working with us here at Conversations With Impact, and in doing so, you’ll learn about how to use The IMPACT Model to Transform yourself. Please follow the links to take the next steps: